In keeping with the real U.S. Christmas

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
195 guests at a hotel in Mumbai killed
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Tis the season to be jolly,
Grenade blast wounds 34 protesters in Bangkok
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,
U.S. military bases brace for surge in stress-related disorders
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Wal-Mart worker gets trampled to death
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us,
2 gunmen kill each other in shootout at Toys R Us in Palm Desert
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Robbery Suspected as Motive in Beating Death of Anchor
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me in merry measure,
Rioting mobs kill 300 people in Nigeria
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
3 killed when Amtrak train hits car
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old year passes,
More families abandon holiday-travel tradition
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
100,000 stranded in Thailand after airports shut
Fa la la la la, la la la la.


Sing we joyous, all together,
Meltdown fallout: some parents rethink toy-buying
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Torrential rain continues to lash southern Brazil
Flooding in Costa Rica
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Actual headlines from various news sources. Hat tip to Paul Simon for the concept.