Fear for sale we got what you don't want but you'll buy it anyway.
Spiders make your skin crawl? Or maybe it's snakes. Everybody has their phobias big and small. Did it start with that running away dream when you were a kid? You know. Your feet felt like they had iron weights tied to your shoes and the boogie man was coming and you couldn't get away.
Perhaps the IRS is on your trail. That deduction for your poodle might look suspicious. And Mr. Politician did you kiss butt enough for the donor to part with his bucks? Fears. Everybody's got em. Will the job get done on time? Will the boss notice? Will the boss forget? Will there be a job? Will the plant close? WMDs and terror suspects hiding under beds. Black men red men yellow men old white dudes out to get you. Vicious dogs wild bears angry birds attacking crows something fearful this way roams. And death panels all neatly set to end your life. Food recalls, swallowed balls, watch out that thing 'ill take your eye out. Turkey and fish, peppers, tomatoes and mad cow thrown in for good measure.
Sal, e coli, aids and herpes if you're afraid of it we got it just for you. Neatly wrapped with black ribbon suitable for strangling. Pedophile, priest, punk, and pervert promoted today for the production price of $999 but today only for $666 plus shipping and handling. Visit the 13th floor for our clearance specials. And don't forget our hurricane tornado uber extravaganza but you better hurry cause they're going fast and they may not last. No rain checks either. A bang up Independence day in December blowout flood fire smoke and water damage end of season clearance. Get it while you can, no refunds or exchanges. Easy credit terms to fit every family budget. Just 25 cents down and the rest in easy weekly payments for 99 years, interest calculated hourly. On taking your phone order by our highly untrained staff in some country you've never learned about in school will attempt to fill your order. Fear not (did I say that? Ha!) the staff can pronounce the words but has not a clue as to what they mean but will pass your order on the back storage barn complete with leaky roof where another highly incapable team member will fill your order by practicing his field goal attempts in packaging so cheap it would embarrass toilet paper.
And never to forget bank fails later...
Say didn't the FDIC run out of money yet? Be afraid. Be very afraid.
UPDATE: No fails this week but stay tuned as the economy is headed for the cliff.
And never to forget bank fails later...
Say didn't the FDIC run out of money yet? Be afraid. Be very afraid.
UPDATE: No fails this week but stay tuned as the economy is headed for the cliff.
8 comments:
I've decided to just sit back and watch this fucking train wreck. What I fear most right now is that I'll run out of black powder for black powder shooting matches, it's hard to find here, and expensive.
Cat food? Na, I'll shoot coons to feed the cats. And dogs to feed me.
Isn't that just sulfur, charcoal and saltpeter (potassium nitrate)? Should be fairly easy to get to shoot off your musket. The trick is getting the right mixture.
75 percent potassium nitrate, 15 percent charcoal, 10 percent sulfur. The charcoal and sulfur are easy to get, good potassium or a good equivalent is hard to find.
You don't need the sulfur but it makes a better burning powder if you have it.
Most black powder made today also has graphite in it, to make it more stable during handling.
I read that Grants Stump Remover has good potassium nitrate in it, if I can find some.
Dried horse piss salts is also a good source of it. Seems like a lot of work to get it that way though.
I'm still trying to find a quality recipe for Greek fire.
Randal you would. What's it going to be an old fashioned book burning then?
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