If it wasn't for disasters we wouldn't have anything to look forward to

A hurricane Sandy that wiped out peoples homes

A mass shooting at an elementary school

A bombing at a marathon run

Tornadoes in the midwest followed by more tornadoes

A burst pipeline and oil spill in Ark

Squeeze in a flood about every other week or so

A derailment in Canada that just about wiped out a town

Let us not forget the floods and fires that took out more homes than meets the eye.

Did I forget anything? I'm sure I did as this was only on the local level. Ah yes the plane crash, almost forgot.

Mr Mayhem seems to rule the day every day. If it isn't somebody getting blown up it's radiation leaking into the nearest body of water and don't get me started on food born illnesses. You could fear getting run off the road or shot on the way to work if you hadn't gotten the layoff notice and aren't there now. Can't even feel comfy in your own home with the rise of burglaries and armed robberies. What's that you say? Lost the homestead to a shady bank mortgage and the car got repoed. 

A volcano or nice earthquake makes for momentary headline news but only if they're big enough. No wimpy 5.2 or volcano doing a half assed spit will keep eyes glued to TV sets.  Has to be something big enough  so it can be analyzed to death by experts dragged from the ivy covered towers, but I'm sure in a pinch they'll grab an assistant to an assistant or maybe a resident assistant who's handy. Just slap the word expert in the underlying crawl and nobody will know the difference. He must know what's going on because he wears glasses and looks all brainy and such. We're all experts these days just ask us.

Ah the experts. Now we just know republicans are all medically trained to make the decisions about women's health because they all went to med school right? I didn't know they taught all that in political science class. Must be a very progressive institution. It's much like turning to a plumber when you need brain surgery. No wonder they're called the "stupid" party. Let's make that stick shall we? To his discredit Obummer isn't making things much better. For a constitutional lawyer he must have studied the Soviet constitution and drank the bong water too while in college. 

But let's face it we're in an instant Karma world with quick and cheap gratification. Spare me the details I only have time to read a tweet. Hey is that a penguin on roller skates I just saw? Better get it up on the old facebook wall before somebody else does. Sheesh!  Now if you'll excuse me the covers are calling but must check for bed bugs first. There are? Never mind I'll just fall asleep herrrrrrrrr.......