Friday, April 25, 2014

Friday Beaver? You get what you pay for cheapskate

Friday already? Okay this isn't a beaver. You try looking for a photo of a beaver and a mirror and don't even think of trying it with safe mode off.

Mirror mirror on the wall who got blown up stabbed or shot today? No you aren't the prettiest puss in the land. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Just more bad news boys. Keep working and work harder because the end isn't anywhere in sight. Just when you thought you'd make ends meet they moved the ends. Knew I shouldn't have burned that candle at both ends. Life is what you do while you're waiting to die...Bob Dylan. No more Capt. Kangaroo for you. How poetic must have smoked the same stuff as that Graves fellow but nobody's seen him in a coon's age so... on with the show Buggs.

What stupid distraction pops up in the mirror today? Another Al Bundy and his hoards of idiots gracing our screens? Guess they ran out of has beens to trip the light fantastic. Come on guys Fred Astaire is long gone. Ah that's right be afraid, be very afraid cause little Billy might have left his backpack when he took a pee at the airport. Blow it up first and ask questions later. 

When in doubt regurgitate the news cause you never know who didn't see it the first three hundred times.  Miscellaneous of the Miss Cellaneous engineering hungrier fish? Why not just do your GMO magic and have them grow legs then they can walk into your frying pan... sheesh.

Beware of the "Vortex"! That's the latest catch word be it snow rain and now pollen? This could present golden opportunities hum... When in doubt just add a 'vortex' to the beginning and you'll be a hit at the party. But as far as the news is concerned it's a vortex of lies. Headline reads "US. Manufactures gaining competitiveness". Of course they are everything is made in China now. Russia gets it's credit rating cut. Who cares? Do you care? The Russians don't care. Why? Because it's all come down to who can slap the other guy with the most debt and you know we're experts at that. International Monetary Farce and all that. Oops that'd be Federal Reserve for us which is no more federal than your aunt Mabel. Again slap an important sounding monicker at the beginning or the end and you can fool anybody. And now for the grand euphemistic ending, let's see...

Financial institution readjustments at a differed time.... How's that?
UPDATE: One redistrubuted bank this week in South Carolina.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Friday Beaver - Was busy chasing Easter bunnies

Miscellaneous multi colored messages of meaningless meanderings. Put that in you smoke and pipe it.

Almost be afraid to smoke the latest of BC bud lest the mind go into intergalactic overdrive and that's not a far trip from what I hear. Ooh no no no no this boy don't smoke it no mo cause ya never know who'd you wake up next to. She didn't look that fat last night ewww. 

But I digress there was a point here if I can just find it. Have to call NSA and see if they can find it. Ah yes there it is in the last place to look. Now why didn't I look there first? Bracket creep or more to the point price creep. That insidious little devil derived by the craven boys of the bean counting department. Knew we should have been kinder to the nerds in high school. It's their revenge. The ploy: to make it appear that you're getting more when you're really getting less. A new improved doesn't mean a thing when it's only the brighter colors on the packaging. Now where did they hide the net weight? And don't give me that "by weight not volume"  disclaimer stuff. The package is three times the size of the stuff inside and I can't eat the cardboard trays. And just where does Monodiglopopysodogluedomate come from? You won't find that growing in a farmers' field. Just how much salt and beet sugar can you squeeze in there because we all know those are fairly cheap ingredients? Maybe they were right when they said you should just eat the box because it has more nutrition and tastes better too. :-)

Ah but we're stuck with what we got. Is my memory going or didn't coffee come in a five lb. can at one time? And sugar comes in a 4 lb. bag which was once 5 lb. Forget cereal. You're lucky if it maxes out at 1/2 lb. And when did they start adding fractions to the net weight? Point 25 means little unless you've downsized your spoon accordingly.

Oh enough of all this. Maybe I'll just go out and shoot a bunny or two. I hear there's one carrying a basket full of eggs. Wow what kind of drugs was that guy smoking when he thought of that idea?

No Bank fails this week. Guess the bean counters have gotten very good at hiding the losses.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Friday Beaver - Late again. Better late than never

Republicans hate beavers

Republicans must think beavers are stupid. They blocked a bill in the House to make pay more equitable. In some states a beaver must undergo a medically unnecessary ultrasound before they can get an abortion. Add to this the recent cuts to food stamps most of which go to baby beaver kits as well as cuts to head start and it sure looks like a war on beavers. Then of course there's the voter ID laws enacted to to make it more difficult for beavers to vote.  And where is a beaver supposed to carry that ID? Don't answer that.

There's the push for more gas and oil that will pollute beaver dams and rivers. Oregon wants to sell of an entire forest to help pay for it's schools. What's a beaver to do when all the trees are clear cut and there's no jobs left? Sounds like a short term fix to a long term problem. But beavers aren't stupid. They manage to survive in spite of all the laws cast upon them. But just wait till the next election when these beavers get their say at the polls.

Isn't it wonderful how republicans tout family values while in the background fooling around with married beavers? And she was even on his staff. Then there was the republican governor "hiking the Appalachian trail". What was he doing drilling for oil with a south american beaver? Again don't answer that.

Of course the beavers could put an end to this nonsense by simply crossing their legs. That simple act has put and end to wars in the past if you know the history. Have to look up the specifics but in the mean time...

No bank fails this week.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Friday Beaver - Late Sunday edition

Beaver got tied up this week. Considering it's spring and dams don't fix themselves... well you get the picture.

Not a great deal to report this week. If they find the Maylasian jet it will be a miracle. Chinese say they heard a ping from the black box but debris they found was 50 miles away. It's a big ocean and there's a lot of garbage in it. Add to that the fact that down under is heading into fall and bad weather. Seem to recall something about Asian culture where by if you lose someone at sea their soul can never rest. I could be wrong so someone correct me if that's the case.

On the Oso mudslide I think at some point they'll have to give up looking and declare that area a memorial resting place. A pile of mud and debris 70 ft. high and over a mile wide would take months to sift through. The only comfort that can be gained here was that the slide happened in about 3 seconds.

Nothing works anymore the way it should. Someone along the line forgot the principle of "keep it simple stupid - k.i.s.s." A 57 cent solution but GM couldn't be bothered to use it. What's the old expression? Penny wise and pound foolish. My thinking on some of this modern technology is "will it really make things better or just be something else to break. Case at point you can no longer buy a new appliance without some sort of computer attached.  I mean come on does a toaster really need to be computerized? And what's next the toaster talking to the fridge? Toaster to fridge "What do you mean we're out of bread and bagels what the hell am I supposed to do now sit here and talk to the faucet?"
Sheesh get me my sonic screwdriver.  

Bank fails - Guess the economy is improving. No bank fails in over a month, but it does bring up the question of what do they do with all that bad debt? You would have thought that by now they could have written off all that bad debt and started anew but judging by the number of pre and foreclosed homes in my area it looks more like they are hanging on for better times. Good luck with that. The job market may have picked up but the jobs out there pay only half of what they once did. Sorry but when a job pays little more than the gas money to get to the job include me out as Yoggy might say.