Friday the 13th Pussy - TGIC thank god it's caturday

It was Friday the 13th and the world was not looking good. Stupid was reigning supreme. Smashes and crashes and just general ignorance ruled the land or was it the world? A brief summary to make a short story long:

If you didn't know better you'd think the lunatics had taken over the asylum. Congress writes a scathing letter to Iran warning not to make a deal with the president. Hey guys that's not your job. Stick to paying the bills. That's right you can't even do that.
Military chopper goes down during a training exercise. Shouldn't try and fly in the fog it never works out well.
White powder found in DC and BC. Okay who took my baby powder? And while you're at it don't blow up my backpack it's not dangerous.
Bonuses rise on Wall Street by 2%. For doing what exactly? Selling more worthless paper around the world won't make things better. Your day is coming.
More Iraq and Syria air strikes makes for more mayhem. Although we don't know the exact extent because nobody's there to report it. It's the easiest way to make the arms dealers wallets fatter.
No global warming you say? Icebergs were seen hitting the beach in Cape Cod. And while the east coast saw record snow and cold the west saw record breaking high temps.
Fergeson,Mo saw resignations, protests and police get shot. It's going to be a while before that town returns to R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Any bets the mayor is the next to go? Not a good time to be a black man in America.
The Emails nobody really cares about. Think you know who I'm talking about Mrs. C.
Why buy a new car these days it'll only be recalled. Did we lose the basic concept of how to build a car? Keep designing them cheaper and that's what you get.
Jeb Bush divests his business relationships. Isn't that like telling the NAACP you just quit the KKK?
Hookers, fence jumpers and drunken agents (higher ups at that) The secret service has enough egg on its' face we can all have an omelet. 
The N word made quite a stir this week prompting one frat to be kicked off campus. While we look in shock at the slurs being bandied about if you've ever hung with "the brothers" for any amount of time they rip each other far worse.
Ukraine expects to get the first $5 billion of its' bail out shortly from the IMF. The IMF that wonderful fund spreading debt traps all over the world. The money never seems to go where it's really needed but ends up as bonuses to bankers and the 1%. What do you bet even Putin will get a cut of that?

I could go on and on but I have some real things to do.
Bank fails later should I think to check...
Update: No fails this week