Thursday, January 13, 2011

Are you certified?


CPA
RN
CNA
LPN
LLC

A license, a card, a certificate suitable for framing it only says that you sat through umpteen boring hours listening or not to somebody who took the trainers' course and maybe he/she was paying attention or not. Then there's the truly boring course train the trainer. Taught by either an old foggy who tells you that's the way we did it way back in 62 or by some green twenty something who's diploma ink is still wet and has not a clue to the realities of a real job. Or the pizza delivery guy who just managed to land a spot robosigning papers for the Easy Credit Mortgage Company and is now holding financial seminars at the local Holiday Inn. But hey, he's now a CFP so he must be legit right?

Certifications? Yeah I got certifications.
CAW
CAS
HAZWOPER
MA
LA
FP
DOTP&L
CS
CSR
FA
WT
WTS

That and five bucks will get you a cup of coffee. And if you think you know what those letters mean think again. Did I leave any out? More than likely. Problem is it's not about a card or a paper even though they're nice to look at and flash before an inspector. Hey wait a minute. Where's your inspectors license? Let me see your papers please. We think there may be a problem here.

So starting shortly you'll now need to take the ( insert name of blog software here) class followed by a 100 question test. Passing grade will be 85% and those not making the grade will no longer be able to blog. Sorry all results are final and no retesting until you've taken the additional recertification class that's only given at 4pm on Fridays every other month. It will be held in you states' capital by appointment only. Please have a certified check for the proper amount upon arrival. Sorry no cash, personnel checks or credit cards accepted.

8 comments:

BBC said...

WTF

I think that is the only one you missed.

My certificates and diplomas have been stored, somewhere, in a box for 20 years, being of the opinion that I don't have to prove anything to these sons a bitches. :-)

dana said...

Joe's certificates from 36 years on the fire department, attending every class to get certifications that were filed away in his personnel folder, are a distant memory, and just as useful now as they were then.

Randal Graves said...

Maybe if you wouldn't have wasted your time on these you could have gotten some actually important acronyms, CIA, FBI, DHS.

The Blog Fodder said...

I'm certifiable. Does that count?

an average patriot said...

As you point out, what the hell is it all worth. It's a facade, a bad frigging joke these days.

Ole Phat Stu said...

BS
MS
PhD

Bullhit
More Shit
Piled Higher & Deeper

Luckily, I made it to retirement
before having to wave my pieces of paper at anyone...

MRMacrum said...

Well all I know is that it's easy to fake a certificate. Look at Obama Man - born in Kenya, but somehow his sneaky mom managed to buy him one from Hawaii.

A few years bake I looked for my birth certificate. Couldn't find it. Does that mean I don't exist?

S.W. Anderson said...

Certification can be really important. And yet, I can understand why, after having gone through it umpteen times, you take a jaundiced view of it. As in so many areas, a lot depends on a lot of things.