Friday, August 23, 2013

Friday Beaver financial style

Didn't know the beaver was on the $5 loonie coin or even that Canada had a $5 coin

Get ready for the manure storm about to hit the financial markets. Can you say fan meet poop? Thought you could.

Where to begin on this three hour tour of the funny money trail of sleuthing.  Guess Greece is as good a place to start. After cutting corporate taxes to the bone and letting the 1% off shore their treasures for the last many years it's finally caught up to that nation's economy. Got to pay the piper eventually. But fearful that they'll lose their golden goodies nestled comfortably in the Caymans the well to do has held their government hostage. " You'll take this loan and like it" says the gangster class. And whom did they expect to pay back such a loan when incomes were less than world average even in good times? "Not to fret we'll just loan ya the money when the payment is due" was the mantra. All well and good until they realized that there weren't anymore belt loops left to tighten and who wants to buy some old ruins at a garage sale? So with no other option Greece took the deal but I'm sure didn't like it. And when the payment came due again it was a repeat scenario. Just how do you squeeze blood out of a turnip?

Bounce across the waves to China that once bastion of communist capitalism they looked like they'd cornered the market on cheap chotskies that the world could not do without. Where else could you get a hand painted back scratcher in solid wood for under a buck? But let's face facts, the world only needs so many lead laced toys and plastic gadgets. So they diversified and started building apartment buildings. Build it and they will come was the thinking. Must have seen that Costner movie way back when. Only thing was they didn't come and now whole cities sit empty rotting away. Must have missed the part about putting the cart before the horse. And like all bad leaders they lied about the growth figures because to do otherwise might get ya killed there.

Now on to another giant in the world economic game, India. The headline reads "India 'vexed' by accounting gap". Sounds almost quaint doesn't it? Vexed implies a trivial matter like a mosquito buzzing around your head. Did they ever stop to consider that maybe we caught on to their customer no service call centers and are now relying on the internet for our answers? You'll have better luck calling the local TV consumer reporter problem solver if the problem is more complex. Their currency by the way has dumped 44% of it's value in the last two years or so I'm told.

What's the matter financial wizards no more bubbles left to inflate? You've squeezed the last remaining pennies from grandma's purse so what's left to steal? We now sit in a Ponzi economy where debt is bought and sold. Take a cruise around the neighborhood and note the for sale signs or better yet check out the foreclosures that you won't see. They're neatly hidden from view in the back pages of the newspaper that is if you still read one. Think they're online too but be prepared to dig. They wouldn't want to cause a panic.

Lastly they've lied about the unemployment figures. It may be true that some folks have gone back to work but the jobs offered after having worked a few decades would be not much over minimum wage at best. Hours have been cut and it's no easy task to pay bills with promises. But fear not the gurus of the financial markets predict global growth which may be true if you have your stock fund full and the insurance to cover it  when it crashes. They wouldn't lie to us now would they?

Bank fails later.
UPDATE: One bank failed in Az.


BBC said...

I have some two dollar Loonies and the bank here won't take them cuz they won't deal with Canadian coins, says it costs too much to ship them. WTF? It's only 18 miles away.

I'm headed up the mountain for the weekend, the rest of you monkeys are in charge while I'm gone.

Randal Graves said...

Can't wait until death sports replace broken penis infomercials on the booby tube.

billy pilgrim said...

it's only a loony if there's a loon on it.

The Blog Fodder said...

Sorry, guys, no $5 coin for Canucks just yet.