Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Various insanity

I have some lab work that needs to be done today. I don't mind the needle stick but the billing process is quite painful. Each clinic has it's own billing department that is tied to a hospital main billing department. It would be great if you only had to deal with one or two people and one bill. That I could handle, But noooooo. You get one bill if you go there and if you pay it on the spot which seems simple enough you still get two more bills in the mail. Or should that be statements? With my medical proceedures when I am covered the bill goes to a company administrator who anaylizes it sends it to the insurer. The insurer goes over it looking for ways not to pay it then sends that back to the administrator who the sends me a summary of what was paid and what I owe. This summary is not a bill. That (the actual bill) is sent from the clinic a month or so later. And we wonder why the health care system is collapsing. Now for the kicker. In an effort to cut costs the clinic is cutting back hours. They cut back their billing department to four days a week and they've also changed their billing software. It's a system that doesn't work. If you make a payment on the spot it won't credit your account. How sneeky is that.
Now I find that they've cut back to a three and one half days week. Wouldn't want to get to work before noon now would we. Acutally 1:00pm to be exact. I'm beginning to see how this is going to work. They'll cut everything to the bone (pardon the pun) or worse they'll cut into the bone until you might catch them between the front and back nine on the local golf course if you're lucky. And don't think about using the phone for contact. You're far better off getting in your car and driving there but just remember that lunch is between 12:00 and 1:30. They might be there if they aren't busy trying to get a doctors appointment for themselves.
So what's next? I can almost see it now. Self service pay before you pump health care. Insert your credit card into the slot at the front door for access. Wait for door to open. Proceed to the nearest kiosk. Press the start button and follow the directions. Place your hand into the opening marked "Blood Test". Keep your hand still during test. Wait for the count down clock to finish. When the bell sounds you may remove your hand. Wait for the test results. When the green light flashes remove your receipt. If you have a problem please press the call button and a non English speaking attentent will assist you.
Oh and should you have any problems with your bill please feel free to use our automated phone line which will get you absolutely nowhere. May we connect you directly to our modern newly updateded psyche department?

Update: Just got back from the clinic. Now I like to pay as I go. When I have work done I go into the billing department and pay the bill. It's the same proceedure so the same cost. I kid you not the gal in there didn't know what to do when I told her I wanted to pay for what I just had done. She said " I don't know how to put this in the computer because there's no charge for it yet". I told her "how about putting it in as a credit that's how most companies do it?" She said "Oh yeah I could do that". Jimminy Christ on toast if this is how they teach people in school these days then maybe we should just tear down the schools and start over.

4 comments:

jmsjoin said...

That sounds crazy! The system is pretty screwed up. I avoid it and use the VA. A long way there but quick and easy.
A national health care system for all is one part of socialism that is necessary and now!

Tom Harper said...

Ah, a nice encouraging glimpse into the future of American health care. The free market in action. We have to make sure the Democrats don't force any of that there socialized medicine on us; it would wreck everything.

BBC said...

I think that Tom Harper is wrong, but it would have to be a proper system where monkeys had to understand that they are going to die in the end and the tax payers don't have to put large amounts of money trying to keep everyone alive because they don't fucking want to die.

Do you have a clue how many worthless monkeys are getting free health care and expensive operations to keep them alive while they provide nothing to society?

Taxpayers even support them because they don't work and haven't worked for years after fucking their bodies all up. They just work the system.

Utah comes to mind, had it great at one time and was spoiled and now wants us to keep her going.

Not that any of this matters, this is just the tip of the iceburg and it's just going to keep getting worse.

I suggest that you get ready for two things. Covering your own ass, and dying without a lot of outside help.

If you want outside help you support socialism. No one minds a little socialism as long as it's comeing at them.

As for socialism, I have no problem with it, done properly, it's just a village supporting each other.

Of course it never has been done properly. Socialized health care should be more about keeping the youth healthy and alive, not keeping old fucks alive that are going to die anyway.

I don't have any problem with me dying, I'm sick and fucking tired of this planet and these monkeys anyway.

But I hope to get in a few more camping trips before I do die. And to die in the mountains away from these monkeys.

Death, that is a non issue to an omnipresent spirit. It's life here that is a pain in the ass.

S.W. Anderson said...

The rigamarole you describe is a major reason for escalating costs and public dissatisfaction.

Set up properly, paying at the time of service should be quick, easy and instantly tied into the main hospital's accounting system. I suspect what they're doing is handling every transaction as if it's going through an insurer, with no provision for cash 'n' carry, so to speak. That's wildly inefficient, wasteful and downright stupid.