Saturday, October 3, 2009

Hide your daughters you swine

German Vampires
Germany had mainly two names for vampires: Nachtzehrer ("night waster") used in Northern Germany and Blutsauger ("bloodsucker") used in Southern Germany and Bavaria. The Nachtzehrer was similar to the Slavic vampire in that it was known to be a recently deceased person who returned from the grave to attack family and village acquaintances. It usually originated from an unusual death such as a person who died by suicide or accident. They were also associated with epidemic sickness, such as whenever a group of people died from the same disease, the person who died first was labeled to be the cause of the group's death. Another belief was that if a person's name was not removed from his burial clothing, that person would be a candidate for becoming a Nachtzehrer.

Epidemic sickness? Humm.. like swine flu. Could this be a German plot to take over the world again? They tried it once in the forties. Then again in the 50s with their German measles. It all adds up those scientists who fled to Argentina were busy making batches of this stuff for years. They realized our love of beacon and capitalized on an opportunity. They can't fool us. They won't get away with this. We'll fix em. Our scientists have been working hard on cloning giant schnitzil. And with a steady diet of Viagra they've come up with something that should scare the begeesus out of the fair frauleins country wide. Imagine a six foot swantze roaming the towns and villages of rural Germany with one thing on its mind.


5 comments:

S.W. Anderson said...

Yeah, Demeur, that terrifying tube steak should send a powerful message. But if that doesn't quite do it, we could always send in modbile units.

Holte Ender said...

That picture has kick-started my appetite, almost dinner time EST.

dana said...

"such as whenever a group of people died from the same disease, the person who died first was labeled to be the cause of the group's death"

IDIOTS!! It's the LAST person who died that was the cause of the former ones going "toes up to jesus".

Randal Graves said...

So you're suggesting we should nuke Germany.

Surat said...
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