Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The phone from hell


A few interconnected posts got me to thinking about our non human communications that are becoming more prevalent these days. No longer are you apt to get a live person at the other end of the line unless it's some underpaid tech support guy overseas who may speak perfect English but has no clue as to what you are talking about. Either that or the 911 operator who has no idea of the fire you just reported which is just one street over and you don't have the exact street address.
But back to the automated systems. Must have been designed by some republican geek who always got stuffed in the locker and now this is his revenge. You know the drill. You call to a main menu that directs you through a maze of options and by the third or fourth time back to the main menu you realize that there was no option that fit your needs. (Kafka would be proud) Or the worse option of finally getting a real live breathing person who's knowledge of the English language is that just above a first grade exchange student.

Well for all those who have experienced the frustration here's a link to a possible solution:
Get Human
I've used this once some time back so I know it works.

At some time in the not too distant future we'll have answering machines that make calls and communicate with other answering machines totally eliminating the need for any human interaction. I hear they have fridges that already call for a repairman when their feeling ill. And that's fine with me as long as they don't talk back and argue. I get enough grief from my cat.

9 comments:

an average patriot said...

Before I graduated from college I did a 50 page thesis on automated systems as well as ATM's that were just coming in. What a nightmare it has all turned out to be.

pygalgia said...

Thanks for the link. All though I do enjoy repeating "pomegranate" over and over.

Holte Ender said...

Hell, that's in Michigan right.

Bee said...

Back when I was closing mortgage loans, I used to keep a list like this of the shortcuts to get payoffs from huge mortgage companies (some no longer in business, which actually makes me happy). Very handy stuff, there.

MRMacrum said...

Up til now, I have resorted to two methods for finding a human voice on the other end. Sometimes they work sometimes they do not. One is to just do nothing at any prompt. The other is to beat on the O until someone asks me to stop. Your link will come in handy.

BBC said...

As you know, I bought a cell phone recently and had my land line number transferred to it, sometimes I actually turn it on.

If anyone wants to contact me they had damn well better send me an email because I only turn the phone on when I think it may be important to do so.

Of course when I go on trips and camping I'm pretty much out of contact with others because my cell phone is turned off most of the time and I don't bother with computers then.

It works for me, life goes on just fine without all that shit.

S.W. Anderson said...

Phone automation succeeded in the sense of gaining wide adoption because it allowed businesses to shed yet more employees — ones who formerly answered the phones.

That bit of technology should've been followed by some system for determining how many customers or potential customers the automated phone-answering systems were costing the companies. Plus, how much ill will the phone-answering systems were generating becuase PO'd callers were telling anyone who would listen what an awful experience they had with those companies.

Tom Harper said...

Hi. Thank you for calling Get Human. Welcome to our brand new automated phone system. If you were attempting call a bank, press 1...

Randal Graves said...

Now I just need a machine to talk to my wife.