Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The scoundrals


They thought they could fool us those powers that be. When host George saw the party waining he sent out his minions for another beer run. When the cans lay empty half crumpled on the floor Ben and Tim showed up to save the day. When wall street finally realized that the wine cellar was really near empty mighty Ben and Tim stepped in to save the party. A few hundred here, 1200 there, my this hooch smells strangely Chinese. Where'd you get this stuff Ben? Oh never mind it doesn't matter let the good times roll.
Then someone, nobody knows who, took a trip to the cellar and found IOUs. What's going on here Tim was asked? Tim replied that someone had leveraged the bottles to pay for the party the last 8 years. But the wall street boys knew what happened. They'd been busy for quite some time skiming off bottles and leveraging what was left. When it was discovered that the cellar was empty the wall street boys said that they were only doing their job and that Tim should give them a bonus. So he did. He got busy refilling the cellar and let the wall street boys have a bunch of cases as a bonus. It was in their contract as caretakers of the cellar. And what did the partygoers get? They got 1200 bottles of beer but had to give back about half. About 10% of them got kicked out of the party even though they did nothing wrong. Host George was voted out of the house and went home to Texas with all the bottles he had stolen.
So how's the party going? Host Barry hasn't had the time to change the house rules with the mess George left. He's busy getting a doctor to help the partygoers with their hangovers as well as the ones in the backyard who got kicked out. The wall street boys are hiding in the cellar and are back to leveraging the new bottles and setting up new bonuses. The house is a mess and falling apart with holes in the roof, a front porch that's about to collapse and the driveway has huge potholes.


Hat tip to Distributorcap for the inspiration. Only wish I had your photoshop skills.

7 comments:

an average patriot said...

Pretty good, and not a damn thing has changed except we have been robbed!

Tom Harper said...

Good analogy. Got anything to drink?

BBC said...

Booze is okay, it's the choice of prozac of the spirits. In moderation.

I'm trying to learn how to make some the lazy way. Or at least the easy way, it all seems like a lot of work.

Thankfully my light beer isn't too expensive but it tics me off that in this state they tax it as a non food item, ha ha ha.

Brother Tim said...

And the nerd in charge is afraid to tell the jocks the party's over.

S.W. Anderson said...

Time to strap the party-hardy SOB's into chairs, pop Antabuse down their worthless gullets — and stand by in case the D.T.'s kick in.

Randal Graves said...

99 empty bottles of beer on the wall, 99 empty bottles of beer...

MRMacrum said...

Well, finally an explanation that makes sense.