Friday, October 30, 2009

What would Halloween be without

The Halloween beaver?

But what could be more scary than....

Thursday, October 29, 2009

What's that smell?

It was back in the early 70s that I noticed water spots on the glass of my trusty Dodge Dart I had just washed and waxed. Thought I had dried it well before waxing. Oh well I'll get out the alcohol and water and hit the windows again. But no these water spots don't want to go away. "Hey what's going on here", I asked my brother. "Acid rain" he said. This was back when the EPA was just coming into existance. Nobody thought much about air pollution back then because the mills and factories had cleaned up their act and you could actually see blue sky. Little did I know that even tiny amounts of sulfur from the coal plants and mills were mixing with water vapor to make acid rain. Any form of sulfur can do that. As for the co2 produced that's another story.
With that little background info under your belt I come upon Chinese drywall. Used extensively in the Gulf Coast area after Katrina people started noticing a rotten egg smell as the rainy weather started. After some investigation it was determined that the drywall contained fly ash which is the waste product from smoke stacks of the factories and mills in China. That is no great revelation we use gypsum made from fly ash in this country but it is made from the waste after it goes through the stacks scrubbers. And we know China's record on quality control from the toys and dogfood we've imported from them so you could just imagine the consistancy of their products, in this case, what was in the drywall and how much? Then there's the issue of exposures. You can take 10 people and 9 of them may have no effects while the tenth will become violently ill. Government agencies won't make a determination as to the hazards until they have studied the problem. Homeowners warranties won't cover the problem because they don't cover materials. That's a manufacturer liability issue. Good luck trying to sue the Chinese.
Now for the real kicker. If you try to get your insurance company to help in this matter they'll drop your coverage because you now have a possible liability to them. Once your home insurance is dropped the mortgage company will call your loan meaning you'll have to pay the balance of your mortgage. And try getting the builder to do something and they'll refer you the the Chinese manufacturer. The perfect Catch 22.

Chinese drywall

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Beat me again

I can only assume that the majority of people in North Carolina, South Carolina and Alabama either don't read newspapers or have no internet access. In the worst economic times since the great depression the senate today set out to get something done about unemployment that's about to run out for millions of Americans. The "No" party has held up this bill for over three weeks now with the threat of a filibuster. Today however senate democrats got a vote for cloture which simply puts an end to the "No" partys' nonsense. The vote was 87 to 13 meaning that the debate is over something that shouldn't have been in the first place. The 13 were of course from those you'd expect, our wonderful obstructionist "No" party. Sessions, Demint, and Grahm voted against. How can these people live with themselves? I'm certain that if you went boating with one of these guys and you fell overboard they'd throw you an anchor rather that have to perform CPR. But I really wonder about the people who put these guys in office. These are states that have some of the worst unemployment, the worst healthcare and refused federal funds to help their economies. Do the people of these states like getting beaten or what? Vote for me and I'll screw you over, steal your money and when you dead on the street I'll complain about your corpse cluttering up the sidewalk.

Photo by Robert Rouse

Then there's Joe LIEberman who's threatening to hold up healthcare reform. If the people of Conn. don't wise up and throw that bum out of office the next election cycle then the Dems should strip him of any power. Let him sit with the "Nos" and he can sink on their Titantic.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Collapse - the post Bush years

Like spitting in the ocean the problems we face are insurmountable or at least appear that way. Where to begin? What area wasn't touched by the Bush cabel the last eight years and turned to poop?

!. Banking - It's now easier to walk on water than it is to get a new mortgage even if your credit is A 1. Unless you already have a line of credit forget trying to tap into your home in the event of emergency. Comforting news should you need open heart surgery. In other credit news banks and credit unions have been jacking up their rates to near finance company levels. Sorry Christopher Dodd you were too late with your freeze on credit card interest rates.
2. Forclosures - Goes hand in hand with banking, continues but may or may not be slowing. I feel bad for those that live in Detroit where 9000 homes were put on the auction block yet the forclosure vultures didn't bite even with $500 minimum bid. Hey that guy on late night "Lazy man's way to wealth" told me I could make a killing in real estate right now. He forgot to mention that I'd need an AK47 and pitbull guard dog even to fix the place once I kicked out the squatters.
3. Wars - No immediate end in sight on those fronts (pardon the pun) as we continue to dump billions more cash and lost soldiers lives that we don't have. And there's Dracula Cheney wanting us to stay there 100 years or more. He must awaken to the smell of napalm. Just wonder how much he gets from his Haliburton retirement plan. Loves blood and guts as long as they're not his.
4 Jobs - What jobs? Worst employment numbers it 26 years. Senate is voting on an extension tomorrow. I'd gladly have a job rather than an extension any day yet I have no choice but to hope this passes because there is no alternative. This would make the 5th extension for those counting.
5. Wall Street - I laugh when I look at the figures. The Dow hits 10,000+ and all the financial talking heads say how rosey things are for them. It's all an illusion boys and girls. The market at one time was at over 14,000 before people woke up and realized that it was all an illusion. Like my home being worth 1/4 million ha ha ha yea right.
6. Health care - We have the best health care in the world. Yeah if you're a senator or congressmen. For the rest of us it's getting close to the worst. We rank 50th on the world scale and one person dies every 12 minutes for lack of insurance. Those with insurance are finding the rates going up and what they get going down, higher premiums and less coverage. And yet insurance companies say they aren't making enough profits while they're spending $1.4 million in lobbying efforts, per day!

I could go on and on and on but you get the idea.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Random things

The facination with Sarah Palin continues but at least now the left can capitalize on her notarity with a new book out. The Nation writers sure did a nice job of parity at least what I can see by the cover.


Another seven banks bite the dust Friday. Here's a list in case you wanted to see if your's is on there.

First DuPage Bank Westmont IL 35038 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
Riverview Community Bank Otsego MN 57525 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
Bank of Elmwood Racine WI 18321 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
Flagship National Bank Bradenton FL 35044 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
Hillcrest Bank Florida Naples FL 58336 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
American United Bank Lawrenceville GA 57794 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009
Partners Bank Naples FL 57959 October 23, 2009 October 23, 2009


John McCain wants to slow up free speech by preventing net neutrality It's called the first ammendment John
This from a guy who admits to knowing nothing about the internet. Even one of the creators of the net is against this bill.
Time to snatch the remote from grandpa and have him retire.
Time to get the hell out of Afghanistan
From a Canadian blogger Cathie: Contractors are paying the Taliban not to attack

Friday beaver as usual

What would Friday be without a beaver shot?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Twenty years or so down the road

Image a nursing home with white haired wrinkled skinned old folk sitting around the tube watching their Lawrence Welk, some in wheel chairs while others have their walkers and then fast forward to the future and there you sit white haired and wrinkled. What will you be watching? Will a Pink Floyd concert be blaring across the rec room? Makes you think doesn't it? Will you have to worry about having your Depends changed or will science have fixed that? Maybe you'll be able to stay up late enought to catch a Stones concert live. Mick strutting around the stage... in his wheel chair and Keith Richards being propped up with a body brace looking like a mummy.
Will our grandchildren have surpassed us in the quest to be irritating with the melodic tunes of circular saws, angle grinders and a pile driver bass beat? Or maybe they'll be able to synthisize the sound of a bunker buster bomb into something resembling music so harsh to the auditory nerves that just one concert would be the end of hearing as they once knew it. Or maybe as cycles go they'll go back to some ethereal stuff that we'll find as disgusting as Welk. A cross between disco, muzac and Barney songs that will make Disney on Ice sound like grunge by comparison. Ah the tortures of the younger generations.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Blog remodel

Just ran into Robert Rouse of Left of Centrist over at Jim's at Average American Patriot who reported that he's back to bloging at his new digs freeze dried gray matter Robert always has something interesting over there and I especially like his videos. If he gets much better he just might become the new Monty Python. With any luck one of the networks could pick him up. Go pop over and experience that new bloggy smell.

Too bad I didn't keep up on my film skills from college or I'd give him a hand.

The scoundrals

They thought they could fool us those powers that be. When host George saw the party waining he sent out his minions for another beer run. When the cans lay empty half crumpled on the floor Ben and Tim showed up to save the day. When wall street finally realized that the wine cellar was really near empty mighty Ben and Tim stepped in to save the party. A few hundred here, 1200 there, my this hooch smells strangely Chinese. Where'd you get this stuff Ben? Oh never mind it doesn't matter let the good times roll.
Then someone, nobody knows who, took a trip to the cellar and found IOUs. What's going on here Tim was asked? Tim replied that someone had leveraged the bottles to pay for the party the last 8 years. But the wall street boys knew what happened. They'd been busy for quite some time skiming off bottles and leveraging what was left. When it was discovered that the cellar was empty the wall street boys said that they were only doing their job and that Tim should give them a bonus. So he did. He got busy refilling the cellar and let the wall street boys have a bunch of cases as a bonus. It was in their contract as caretakers of the cellar. And what did the partygoers get? They got 1200 bottles of beer but had to give back about half. About 10% of them got kicked out of the party even though they did nothing wrong. Host George was voted out of the house and went home to Texas with all the bottles he had stolen.
So how's the party going? Host Barry hasn't had the time to change the house rules with the mess George left. He's busy getting a doctor to help the partygoers with their hangovers as well as the ones in the backyard who got kicked out. The wall street boys are hiding in the cellar and are back to leveraging the new bottles and setting up new bonuses. The house is a mess and falling apart with holes in the roof, a front porch that's about to collapse and the driveway has huge potholes.

Hat tip to Distributorcap for the inspiration. Only wish I had your photoshop skills.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Afghanistan banana stand

I remember back when nobody knew anything about Afghanistan. It was just some desert country in the middle east that nobody gave a second thought about. Then the Russians invaded. Exactly why I have no clue. If you look up the information in Factbook you find a country with little to no resources and no reason to stay. Much like the badlands of the west it's one of those places you want to get through quickly to get to a better place. They have no oil, minerals, industry or timber and yet here we are bogged down in a war that could last for years. But that's not the worst of it. If you look closely you find that we are paying for this war but, not just for our troops and hardware but for theirs as well. Not only are we sending our army and trying to build an Afghan army but indirectly we're providing money to both the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Everytime you fill up your gas tank some of the money goes for taxes to pay for our army while at the same time some of the profits from that barrel of oil gets skimmed off to pay the other side. What a win win situation for the arms suppliers.

So we've gone from the military industrial complex that Eisenhour warned us about to the terrorist industrial complex. I think the latter may be worse in that not only are we spending billions for hardware over seas but we're putting billions for anti terrorist equipment over here in the form of homeland security. And I'm sorry but I just can't see a need for having a small town like Bozo,Texas with six bio-chemical suits costing $10,000 each when nobody in the town knows how to use them or would ever need to use them. But "we got em by god". We don't bother to help pay for police overtime at airports with federal dollars, we leave that to drain city and state budgets.
Then there's the funding on the other side. We knew Bin Ladin was fairly well off, his family owning one of the biggest construction companies in the middle east, but there was the fund raisers among rich arabs just after 911 that continue. Our CIA has yet to track down the money trail because of the way they transfer money over there. They use small money changers with no paper trail or so I've read. Then of course there's the opium. By one NY Times article the Taliban skims off 10% of the opium money from farmers much like a tax. Reports from $70 to $400 million go to support the Taliban which has become a shaddow government in the southern part of the country. Then you have to stop and consider that the Taliban doesn't have to lug a 50 lb. back pack with all the equipment that goes with it. They can travel light and don't have the expense of milti million dollar armored vehicles, jets or planes. And how could we expect to win hearts and minds when we can't provide much more than a temporary illusion of security. Who would you trust, someone yelling at you in a foreign language you don't speak or someone who looks like you, speaks your language and shares your customs?

This is truly a no win situation. Like a cancer you can't get rid of without killing the patient the Taliban are an ingrained part of the country. But then I thought that was the original strategy to go in rout the Taliban and banish them to the hills where they'd be irrelivent. We sent them packing to the hills only to have them come back and take over the southern areas.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Rabbit poop

Radioactive that is
And you thought this was beaver night. Seems we have the left overs from the nuclear project over there at Hanford. Nothing like the gift that keeps on giving. The rabbits over there in central Washington have grown a fondness for the radioactive salts left undergound from our days of building A tom bombs. When Buggs Bunny poops though he leaves a radioactive byproduce that now must be idenified and cleaned up.

I have a few associates from my HazMat recertification classes who do just that. Once they had them out there chasing radioactive tumble weeds. Well plants do suck up contaminated water.

Dang! I just had the thought of 50ft. high bunnys roaming the countryside wrecking havec. Fits right in with the Halloween themes. The Bunny that ate Cleveland.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Nothing like no competition

Hurry up and die already we need the bed space. Turnover you know.

The last hold outs of the conservadems have a good point against a public option in health care, but they only have themselves to blame. In their states they have only one or two insurance companies doing all the business. In most of these states one company can have 90% of the business which means that they can charge anything they want. How can that be you might ask? The insurance companies were given an exemption from the anti trust laws way back in 1945. A court ruling gave them this little loophole by stating that insurance was not considered commerce. Now it used to be that all insurance companies were non profit so it was no big problem back then. That is until Nixon changed the laws so that HMOs could come into existance. And who do you think the CEOs of these outfits give their campaign contributions to? You guessed it their best buds the republicans for the most part with the exception of those conservadems in those small states. This brings to mind an analogy involving dogs mating but I won't go there.
It was the McCarran-Ferguson Act that permitted the insurance companies to act like a company store (remember the song "16 tons"). It was supposed to give the states the right to regulate insurance companies but that was only by a dissenting opinion so there is no teeth in the decision. Even though your state might have an insurance commisioner his powers are so limited. We can attest to that fact by the amounts rates have gone up over the past few years. I've seen my own rates go up by 75% in the last two years when I had insurance. Why should a medical test that once cost $34 now cost nearly $100? Not only that but the insurance companies are ripping off hospitals and clinics and not just the patients. How? They have a contract with the hospital to pay out fixed amounts on proceedures. When the contract is up the insurance company will try to keep their payouts at the old rate even if the hospitals costs have gone up. And that's a scary thing for the patient who by logic will pick the nearest hospital in an emergency not knowing if his insurance is honored there or not. Remember any out of provider or PPO is only paid at 50% of what's usual or customary.

So I think the insurance companies have shot themselves in the foot with that latest Price Waterhouse report. They're about to get a double punch in the face if they try to derail this. They could get their nice anti trust exemption revoked and competition from a public option. We'll see how this all works out. Sausage making is such an ugly process.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A fools errand

I'm watching the British House of Commons debate military operations in Afghanistan. They're debating sending upwards of 2000 more troops there. At present they have 500 committed. The conservative part of parliment is using the same arguments that U.S. hawks used during Vietnam. To go in and train an army and police force to gain a victory. There's a slight problem. None of them has seemed to have studied either the history or the ways of the people who live there. First no foreign country has ever taken control of Afghanistan in its' entire history. Second the corruption outside of the central government is rampant. Nothing gets done without a bribe to an official or police officer. Then there's the issue of the shaddow government, the Taliban. Much like the Mafia if a citizen has a problem he goes to the Taliban to get things done. The Taliban are doing what the U.S. and foreign troops can't, winning the hearts and minds of the locals. And why wouldn't the locals trust the Taliban? They're fellow countrymen and not some foreign occupier. They speak the same language and follow many of the same customs.
But then it gets more complicated than just that. The Taliban give support to Al Qaeda because at one time Al Qaeda was the Muhajadin that we trained to get the Russians out of the country. We must have trained them well. They are looked upon as heros by much of the southern and eastern parts of the country. But what I didn't know until I watched a Frontline program on it was that the Pakistan government used the Taliban to fight the Afghan army. So here we are trying to aid Pakistan so that they will fight Al Qaeda and the Taliban when they are using the Taliban against the Afghan army. We did a similar action in Iraq when we armed the Sunnis to fight the Shia militias in southern Iraq who were getting help from the Iranian Shia or so it was reported.
What does this all boil down to? Plain and simply making the rich richer. They use anything to accomplish this. First it was bringing democracy and liberty to the middle east. Then they used fear to move their agenda. "We must fight them over there or we'll have to fight them here." When that didn't work it's been "we can't pull out the job isn't finished." So those making a seven figure income tell those making a five figure income to go fight and die so that the military industrial complex can crank out more guns and planes to fatten their wallets. And with our leaders in their back pocket they continue their game plan. They'd delight in a never ending war with profits too obscene to talk about. They'll have our army train and arm a country until their coffers are fat and full. That is until the next war when those they had trained become the enemy and they can build the next generation of weapons. Then the process starts all over again. This is what Eisenhower warned us about, the military industrial complex.

Another Award?

Holte Ender has bestowed upon me the above award. He'd better watch out I just might get a big head and need a larger hat. Just how a Brit lands up in south Georgia still has me puzzled. Unless he went there to study rednecks as some anthropology project.

A hat tip to David Splash for stopping by and leaving a comment. The dark stuff Just what is there to do in Nebraska? Last time I was anywhere near there I was the entertainment.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Lucy you got a whole lot of splaining to do...

Not that this is really important but the govinators' wife gets caught using a cell phone while driving twice. Gee and just after Arnold passed a law against it. Oooo no nookie for you tonight Arnold. She'll make him pay no doubt.

photos by TMZ

Betting on your life

I see only a handful of senators and congress critters are visibly out there fighting for a plan to save health care. Now the insurance companies have chimed in with their position. Like a coin toss of heads I win tails you lose they have indicated that it doesn't matter what happens they will continue to raise rates. Latest figures put that at 110% increase. Is there anyone out there who could have any of their bills increased by that figure and expect to pay it? I didn't think so. This report put together by an insurance group called AHIP (you might recall that they were the ones who gave the screaming points to the teabaggers this past summer). There's an objective organization.. no? They know that once there's a public option to health care the game is over. Like the parisites they are they won't be able to suck the life blood out of their policy holders any longer. They're looking for every loophole every scare tactic they can think of at the moment to squash this plan. But they may have played their cards wrong on this. They may have played the fear card too soon because as we all know fear only works for a short while. When fear is replaced with facts and understanding it evaporates and progress is made.

Some of the senators who've been well paid for by the insurance companies would have you believe that no one is for a public option. Polls seem to show otherwise. But one particular representative Anthony Weiner from NY would like you to throw your two cents into the debate and inform these ill informed senators that the people of this country are indeed in support of a public option and he's set up a web site so you can express your thoughts:

Countdown to health care
I hope you'll pop over and throw in your thoughts.

As for death panels for grandma, she'll probably out live me. She has Medicare and I have nothing. So if you don't have health insurance at the moment then that is like a government run death panel. They get to live with their Cadilac plan and you get to die.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


To continue with my great analogy (already covered zombies, ghouls and vampires) now it's time for werewolves. Half man half beast these demons of folklore seem to fit the R party quite well. The characteristics fit the symptoms of rabies: including acute pain, violent movements, uncontrolled excitement, depression and inability to swallow water. Finally, the patient may experience periods of mania and lethargy, followed by coma.

How fitting. I don't know about the pain but we've seen the violent movements. The threats of violence with holstered guns and uncontrolled excitement screaming wildly at town halls. The Glenn Beck tearful depressions followed by the manic glee of the failures of a nation most of which they caused. Like a rabid dog they froth at the mouth and growl until the near end. Heartless beasts these people be with not a scrap of compassion. Should your illness be near fatal they'll instruct you to seek charity yet they forgot they were the ones who cut those funds years ago. The public emergency rooms have little to no funds left with budget cuts from cities and states. They think that your neighbors can have a bake sale to help pay for your surgery. Their one and only solution tax cuts on health care you can't afford in the first place is like flipping a quarter to the bus boy in a restaurant it won't buy squat.

Friday, October 9, 2009

The obligatory Friday beaver

And what would Friday be without the usual beaver here. At the site of Pygalgia his sidekick Sweaterman is busy keeping up the tradition of posting boobies for your viewing pleasure.

I see the spammers have been busy out there trying to sell who knows what. I got news for you ya greedy republican bastards. This is a non monetized site and will always remain as such so if you come here trying to sell something I'll go all Dagwood on you and kick you out the door.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Why the republicans are like mummys?

Because mummys don't care about you and neither do republicans. In one of his first pieces of legislation to get passed by a vote of 68-30 Al Franken was able to get his ammendment passed. The ammendemnt tacked to the defense bill cuts off funding to contractors that prevent their employees from bringing criminal charges against their employers in cases like assult. Franken gave a statement to the Huffington Post:
"The story came to my attention of Jamie Leigh Jones who, when she was 19, went to Iraq to work for [defense contractor] KBR and she was put in the barracks with 400 men and was sexually harassed," Franken told the Huffington Post in a brief interview shortly after the vote. "She complained. But they didn't do anything about it. She was drugged and gang raped and they locked her up in a shipping container. She tried to sue KBR and they said you have a mandatory arbitration clause in your contract. She tried to fight back and said this is ridiculous. She took it to court and they have been fighting her for three years."

Author's note: I've done a couple of jobs that KBR screwed up on the military bases around here so I know how they work or should I say don't work. So I'm glad to see some accountability here. But stop to think that a company could have the right to make rules that are above the law or should I say violate the law.
All the no votes were republican of course. Imagine that. Republicans support rape and should you get pregnant they'll want you to have the baby then when you do it'll be "your on your own you welfare queen". So next time they're up for re-election next year ask them "senator why do you support rape?"

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The phone from hell

A few interconnected posts got me to thinking about our non human communications that are becoming more prevalent these days. No longer are you apt to get a live person at the other end of the line unless it's some underpaid tech support guy overseas who may speak perfect English but has no clue as to what you are talking about. Either that or the 911 operator who has no idea of the fire you just reported which is just one street over and you don't have the exact street address.
But back to the automated systems. Must have been designed by some republican geek who always got stuffed in the locker and now this is his revenge. You know the drill. You call to a main menu that directs you through a maze of options and by the third or fourth time back to the main menu you realize that there was no option that fit your needs. (Kafka would be proud) Or the worse option of finally getting a real live breathing person who's knowledge of the English language is that just above a first grade exchange student.

Well for all those who have experienced the frustration here's a link to a possible solution:
Get Human
I've used this once some time back so I know it works.

At some time in the not too distant future we'll have answering machines that make calls and communicate with other answering machines totally eliminating the need for any human interaction. I hear they have fridges that already call for a repairman when their feeling ill. And that's fine with me as long as they don't talk back and argue. I get enough grief from my cat.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Coal ash

Watched the 60 Minutes segment about coal ash. If you read this blog you'll know that I almost always do a bit of research into such things as this is up my alley as they say. The primary focus in the story was the sludge spill in Tennessee. So here you have the second largest waste stream in the U.S. (I refer to all coal ash generated in the U.S.) that contains heavy metals, arsenic and radioactive elements. Some areas have "cleaner" coals than others but Tennessee has among the dirtiest with higher levels of contaminants than other parts of the country. And what is their plan to "clean" up the toxic sludge? They're going to ship it all the way to Alabama. Why Alabama you might ask? Because Alabama has no rules what so ever for coal ash. I went a little further in checking out the reports from Alabama. They have no rules on coal ash but they're still covered by the EPA about rules for dams. In their report they noted that some of their dams were at risk but by reading the report you'd think that they had no problems at all. You know, lying with statistics. The two things I found interesting in their report was that there was no mention as to even an estimate as to how much material they have contained and much of the information was redacted blacked out. I understand companies are allowed to ommit information that may give company secrets but this had nothing to do with that.
Now the power companies say it's too expensive to do the right thing and send the coal ash to a land fill but had they ever thought about loading the empty coal cars with the ash and sending it back to be buried in the mine? That would kill so many birds with one stone to coin a phrase. The power company gets rid of its' waste. The railroad gets a return load rather than going empty. The mine gets to fill its' empty shafts preventing subsidence. The waste is safely stored underground and not poisoning our rivers, wells and land. Sounds like a win win win situation to me.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Hide your daughters you swine

German Vampires
Germany had mainly two names for vampires: Nachtzehrer ("night waster") used in Northern Germany and Blutsauger ("bloodsucker") used in Southern Germany and Bavaria. The Nachtzehrer was similar to the Slavic vampire in that it was known to be a recently deceased person who returned from the grave to attack family and village acquaintances. It usually originated from an unusual death such as a person who died by suicide or accident. They were also associated with epidemic sickness, such as whenever a group of people died from the same disease, the person who died first was labeled to be the cause of the group's death. Another belief was that if a person's name was not removed from his burial clothing, that person would be a candidate for becoming a Nachtzehrer.

Epidemic sickness? Humm.. like swine flu. Could this be a German plot to take over the world again? They tried it once in the forties. Then again in the 50s with their German measles. It all adds up those scientists who fled to Argentina were busy making batches of this stuff for years. They realized our love of beacon and capitalized on an opportunity. They can't fool us. They won't get away with this. We'll fix em. Our scientists have been working hard on cloning giant schnitzil. And with a steady diet of Viagra they've come up with something that should scare the begeesus out of the fair frauleins country wide. Imagine a six foot swantze roaming the towns and villages of rural Germany with one thing on its mind.

Zombie update

Fact: 99.9997% of all college students are unprepared for a large scale zombie disaster
Fact: No federal funding is allocated towards a specialized zombie defense program
Fact: Preparation is the only provenly effective weapon against the undead

Can you honestly say you're ready for a zombie attack?

Join up with the ZDI and start a chapter near you
The Zombie Defense Initiative now has chapters at the following insitutions of higher learning:
ZDI-Boston University
ZDI-University Wisconsin-Madison
ZDI-Fairfield University
ZDI-Central Connecticut State University
ZDI-State University of New York Potsdam
ZDI-State University of New York Binghamton
ZDI-Johns Hopkins University
ZDI-University of Pittsburgh
ZDI-Northeastern University
ZDI-Michigan State
ZDI-Hobart & William Smith

This is an all American initiative. Let the world have it's Olympic games. While their busy doing leg kicks of syncronized swimming we'll be preparing for the hordes of undead.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Must be Friday the beavers are out

Alas I can't call it writers block but more news burn out. I wanted to do a post about zombies and beavers but after looking up zombie beaver in the urban dictionary I realize that that would just not fit.
Randal in his latest post mentions the zombie invasion and that the Germans are not prepared. Little does he know that we're getting prepared with the Zombie Defense Initative. This initative is important to homeland secutrity in giving proper preperation and instructions on eliminating zombies (remember you can't kill em their already dead). We need to be vigilent in spotting the tell tale signs of zombieism. Things like teabagger gatherings and people wearing three corner hats spouting off about the wonders of Glenn Beck (I thing he's one of those crying zombies). A simple test is to ask when they actually fact checked their morning dose of Fox News. That's a good indicator. Do they winch when you say the words "public option"? Another good sign. Should you find yourself cornered by one don't panic. Look them dead in the eyes and shout "They reserected Ronnie and he'll give you another tax cut and I think I just saw him walking down the street! You better hurry!" Works every time.

Now I'll have to think of something snarky for mummys, werewolves and vampires. It is getting to be that time of year you know.