Saturday, February 11, 2012

The clown circus revisited

(Hat tip to the Rev. Dan for the photo but I think he stole it too.)

And which clown had the best tricks in the latest clown beauty pageant? Hard to say considering most of the contests didn't count for real. And the turn out? As Yogi might say they're staying away in droves. Who else but the craziest of the crazies would come out for this lot.

Cast of characters

Mint Raw Money - Keeps thinking he's the man to beat while his fellow party members are treating him like he farted in a room without windows. Just released the info on his Swiss accounts the Friday before the Superbowl. Oops didn't bother to tell the election committee. A hat tip to Mr. Goldman for that choice of monicker.

Eye of Newt - Wonder if he's found his next notch for his marital gun belt. Long nights on the campaign trail can be lonely you know. Which campaign staffer will grace his next wedding album will be anyone's guess. So you think having to resign from congress doesn't matter when you were caught with ethics violations and fined? You couldn't get a job at a Walmart with that record.

Rick Sanitarium - Thinks he speaks for the entire Catholic church in his quest to rid the nation of birth control. Go ahead boys keep up the fight to outlaw those evil pills and see what big Pharma has to say about it. Not to mention it's cheaper for the insurance companies to dole out pills than pay for babies. So that's two groups that will be pulling their backing. Ricky also seems to have forgotten that most of us older folks grew up in the 60s with sex, drugs and rock and roll.

Ron (What century is this?) Paul - Has an evil plot to steal all the delegates while the rest of the clowns aren't looking. Buying delegates is so much cheaper than having to buy an entire electorate. You'd have thought Mint would have figured that one out.
Ron is just jonesing to take this country back to the 1890s when there was almost no government agencies and pesky regulations. Try Somalia Ron no interference there. Just watch out for the pirates, thugs, kidnappers and thieves.

Sarah Barracuda - Cheerleading from the sidelines but for whom? You need to work on a new routine babe. The old talking points are getting thread bare. Starting to sound like a parrot. Family values raawwk. Lower taxes raawwk. Conservative values raawwwk. She has to have blonde roots. Just has to.

Herman 999 Cain - Okay he fell out after shooting himself in the foot multiple times. But his suggestion is to vote for ourselves. Vote for the American people he says. In other words none of the above. O my god I think he's right. What you witnessed with his campaign was performance art nothing more. Entertaining as it was it did little to further the cause.

Just wonder when the call for more clowns will go out. This bunch just isn't cutting it. Would it be a Bush? Probably not may have name recognition but after his brother tanked the country there still a bad taste in everyones' mouth. A Chris Cristie? A fat clown but with no experience and unwilling. Sarah said she give it a try if no one else would but we know she'd quit half way to the convention because who'd actually want to do real work when adoring fans will pay her for doing nothing.
Makes you wonder who they'll pick for VP. I know Ronald McDonald and Bozo are already booked with full schedules.


BBC said...

You spend way to much time following shit that when it comes right down to it you have just one vote for the fucking idiot of your choice.

Yup, one vote for someone that you'll be disappointed in six months after he/she gets in office.

But I'm not disappointed in Obama, he's performed pretty much as I expected him to, like a fucking idiot.

Randal Graves said...

If only they'd add some flying trapeze acts. Caution to those in the first few rows: you will get bloody.

S.W. Anderson said...

Aren't we past the time when Hugh Hefner or Larry Flynt announces Palin has signed for a $1 million photo spread and cover?

Demeur, that's a good rundown of the clowns contingent. I don't know why they don't run Grover Norquist. He's exactly what they want in a president, minus the Reagan wit and charm.