Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Christmas Carol part three

Act III The ghost of Christmas future

The Boner back in his leather chair once again farted and rubbed his stomach.
"Must have been that stale sandwich I had for lunch." he thought.
As he was about to get up from his chair the windows suddenly went black and the lights dimed. His heavy oak door creeked open and in sauntered Ronald Reagan with a black hood covering his head and face. Without a word the ominus figure raised his boney hand motioning the Boner to follow him. In a slow motion flash they landed in a hallway of an old nursing home. There before him was his future self sitting in a gold plated geri chair with a cashmire lap blanket a glassy stare as he gaulked at on of the hallway lights.

"Sad" said the nurse "No one comes to see him anymore" "He just sits there for hours on end staring at the hallway lights."
"And to think" said the aid " He made all that money when he was in congress". "Wonder what they'll do with it all?"
"I heard that since he has no living relatives that the state will give it to poor children with no health coverage"
And there the old Boner sat drool running down his chin staring at a light not knowing there was even a world outside.

"No no no!" the old senator was heard yelling as he slowly awoke back in his chair. "Dithers! What time is it?"
"Time to get back to the senate floor sir".
"Hot damn I didn't miss it. There's still time to put a last nail in the coffin of health care reform." bellowed the old Boner
"Did you get that dislexic reader I wanted?"
"Yes sir." said the manservant
"Good, then that damn Sanders ammendment is as good as dead." "Get me up and let's go." "Oh and don't forget to send Joe Lieberman a christmas card. Oh yea that's right he's Jewish, never mind."

fade to black

Merry Christmas folks! I hope you enjoy the lump of coal we just got from our elected officials. But please don't try and burn it because we wouldn't want to add to global warming.


Holte Ender said...

Very good. I would be interested to read your take on Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace. I speed read it one time, it's about Russia. (Thank you Woody Allen).

Demeur said...

War and Peace? No,to many characters. I don't have enough bandwidth for that.

Tom Harper said...

Merry Christmas to the HMOs and their handmaidens in Congress.

And the Republican Christmas Message is:

To all you uninsured parasites out there -- DIE! DIIIEEE!!!

Four Dinners said...

How about doing Lord Of The Rings?

Just read a book called 'Bored Of The Rings' with Legolas the Elf renamed Legolamb...excellent stuff.

No global warming around here. It's bloody freezing!!!!

BBC said...

I've not read Tolstoy's War and Peace. But Einstein on Peace was pretty interesting.

To all you uninsured parasites out there -- DIE! DIIIEEE!!!

That's pretty much been my plan all along.

Randal Graves said...

We'll just plant more grass to offset the coal burning. Then we can smoke it, thereby making us plant even more grass. It's a win-win.

S.W. Anderson said...

Well, like the plant foreman said when the first Yugo rolled off the assembly line, "It ain't much, but it's a start." :)