Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Christmas Carol Part Two

Act II The ghost of Christmas past

Little Ebonezer McConnell's parents were big fans of FDR. You see the little Boner contracted polio at a very early age and was forced to do therapy after going to Warm Springs something Roosevelt had started for the benefit of poor kids with polio. This would not do in Ebonezers' mind. We need to get rid of the riff raff of society he thought and he was just the person to do it. When all of these socialist programs were in full swing he hatched a plan. How to get these people to pay up the nose and get nothing in return. As he made his way through government stepping on toes and kicking anyone aside who got in his way. He was after all a member in good stand of the good ole boys netwark.

The ghost of Christmas past had little to say. Merely reached out his arm and grabbed Boner by the upper arm and they were off to his old Kentucky home.

"Nezer?" That's what his mom called him. "You will reconsider you're positions. FDR would not have been proud of you you know." said his mom.
"Nah mom I have to support the party line." "Jerry said I could have a great future if I'd just be more conservative". "I know I'll back that new kid Raygun." "I always liked playing with rayguns."
"Nezer you promise me you'll be more compassionate like Roosevelt and stop hanging around with that bad crowd. Those republicans won't amount to anything if you ask me." said his mom.
"Ah mom, but with the republicans I'm makin more money that you and Dad put together." touted the young Boner.

And a montage of the good times flashed before his eyes. Of back room deals and money laundering through campaign committees. Of D.C. cocktail parties and setting policy that benefited his friends in business. It was an orgasm of power and money from the memories of his youth.
Then there was the scene of Tiny Tim Geithner working his way up the financial food chain. Happy as a lark he was following the direction of his masters Bush and Cheney. He just knew the good times would never end. Tim worked hard to lower the amount of capital required to run a bank and that was perhaps his downfall. There was no turning back now. His fate was sealed and his time was now limited. Crippled by his own actions.

"Those were some good times. said the Boner. "Can I stay just a little longer oh please?"
"No said the ghost, these are things that can never be again, at least not for you."
"Then what will become of Tim?" "Is there any hope for him?" "Maybe we could get him off with a pardon." "We could sneak it into one of those Democrat spending bills."

But there was no more word from the ghost and once again the Boner found himself back in his leather chair.

Stay tuned for Part Three after words from our sponsers

9 comments:

Randal Graves said...

I can't wait to see who the ghosts of Xmas pretzel and futurrific are.

Four Dinners said...

Oi! I liked old Raygun. He thought Princess Di was a bloke.

The boss of the most powerful country on the planet and he couldn't tell a bloke from a woman!

Unfuckingbelievable!!!!!

an average patriot said...

Poor tiny Tim, I look forward to part three!

Tom Harper said...

I hope Little Boner sticks to his principles and doesn't cave in to those awful socialists. That parasite Tiny Tim needs to quit whining, stand up on his own two feet and go out there and get a job.

Holte Ender said...

Hello, my real name is Charles Dickens, I'd like a word with you.

Bee said...

Don't listen to that Holte person, he is an imposter! I sir, am the true Charles Dickens, and I can prove it with my verbosity and the soul shearing boredom of my prose!

I'm looking forward to Act 3 :)

BBC said...

I'm looking forward to Act 3 :)

I'm looking forward to going camping next week, think I'll leave on the 23rd.

dana said...

I'm SO looking forward to Christmas this year. We're 800 miles from home, we've already sent the required hold-up demands from our social security to our "loved ones" and now we don't even have to see them!

Where do you stand on THESE types of socialism practices?

S.W. Anderson said...

I can't top Holte's comment, LOL.

On to part 3.