Thursday, December 31, 2009

To better things ahead


When you assume failure you won't get your expectations dashed. I expect the new year to be about as bad as this past year maybe worst. That way if it does get better I'll be ahead of the game. Sick logic I know but that's the way I think. I always assume everything will go wrong and sometimes it does so there's no surprise for me. Think that's what's kept me alive the last 20 years.

I see my voodoo doll of Rush Limpballs is starting to work. Now if I could just get that one of Cheney working.

So as I look in my crystal ball for the New Year I see more deaths in the middle east (no ball needed for that one). More job losses although not as bad. More foreclosures and that's something to keep an eye on later in the year as Alt-A loans reset. And I'm sure they'll be more sex scandals and scams along with some natural disasters. Don't look for health care to be anything to cheer about as the insurance companies have done their job in paying off our leaders. Security at airports will be high until airlines start loosing money then things will relax. TV will give us more reality shows and sitcoms that I won't watch. What's next? "Light bulb changer" or "sewage treatment operators", truly gripping entertainment.
And so life will go on in good times or bad. Let's be hopeful for better.

A Happy New Year from here or have a Crappy New Year if that's your choice.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Heads up


Tomorrow night is a blue moon. That's the second full moon in a month that doesn't happen very often. To happen on New Years is a once in 19+ year event. So if it's clear where you are tomorrow night take a peek. And if there is something that you'd only do once in a blue moon then tomorrow night is your time.
Can you think of anything that only happens once in a blue moon?
My pick - Democrats getting their bill through congress without changes.

Your pick?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Back to our regular program


(graphic stolen from Py)
Welp some Nigerian kid tries to set off a bomb on a plane and now you can't take a pee one hour before the plane lands. That will go well with people taking water pills or who get the runs while from a visit to a foreign land. And what is the republican answer to this situation? Fire the union screeners because they make too much and have too many benefits. This from the idiot Demint of South Carolina. I'd like to remind Mr. Demint that we had a privatized airport screeners when 911 happened. Those were the minimum wage part time people who couldn't spot a terrorist if they were handed an Al Qaeda id card.
The other thing to remember was that this person was screened in the Netherlands not in the U.S. so the blame falls on them. The no fly list is based on criminal offenses that comes up when a person ties to fly. The watch list has other criteria. If an individual has no criminal background then there is no reason to prevent them from flying. So rather than put more resources into tracking down the bad guys we all get to be yet more inconvienced with more pat downs and maybe more invasive searches. What's next? Underwear searches? Forget about getting into an accident. Just don't forget to change your drawers before you go. And there will be those who say this is the price that we must pay. If that's the price then they have won. We'll keep changing our security measures until no body wants to fly. Then they will have won. Security by the way is just an illusion.

Got a kick out of this one



Just love those kittehs

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Holiday movies


Scanning the TV schedule the last few days has been disappointing. The one bright note was that they didn't run a marathon of "It's a wonderful life" unlike years past. Only saw part of it about a week before Christmas. But what they did do was inundate us with other marathons including but not limited to Home alone, A Christmas story, Bad Santa, The Grinch who stole Christmas and others. As much as I like some of these others are like torture. It seems every generation has it's own little torture that parents impose on their kids. For me it was "Amahl and the Night Visitors." Mom and dad would come back from shopping Christmas eve quickly run presents upstairs to places unknown and then dad would announce that it was almost time for Amahl. It was okay for the first year or two and then it became the running joke. This was a libretto a one act play with the words being sung by the characters. As the years went by we found an excuse, any excuse, to avoid this torture. From having to take a shower to doing homework, Anything to get away from the set. But dad thought it was great and a required family tradition. I was lucky though. The composer regained the rights from NBC and refused to have it air again because he didn't like what they had done with it.
And now we get to torture the young ones with "It's a Wonderful Life". For a few years it was run on every station and a yearly required viewing at school. Makes me wonder what little torture they will come up with for their kids. What goes around comes around. Oops that's the theme of the movie.

Friday, December 25, 2009

It's "that" day


In reflecting on the day I think of those all over the world who for the want of scraps just to survive. I think of the mothers who won't be hugging their children because they died before this day. Of families who won't be seeing their fathers come through the front door because they either died in the line of duty or are in some far off land. Of the homeless who wonder if they'll ever make it back to society. There is always worse that pops it's ugly head just when you think all is getting better but then I also know that worse does not last forever. So for just one day I wish them all peace and hope and better days ahead.

Peace to all.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Santa's getting desperate



Looks like things are bad at the North Pole this year.

More kitties later..

Not much good news





Once again two more Washington state police have been shot and it doesn't look good for them. That's seven officers in less than two months. Maybe they need to change the way officers respond to domestic violence cases. Like anyone in the house have a history of violence or mental illness? If the answer is yes then call the damn SWAT team.

As Santa Claus was shot dead before Christmas last year I think I'll just post some Christmas pussies for the next few days. Everybody likes the pussies.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Random things

I guy in Japan wants to marry a video character. Well at least he'll be able to shut her up when he wants to.


The Seapigs lost on Sunday. Wouldn't be bad if it wasn't against one of the worst teams. On the good side Randal Graves will be glad that the Browns finally won one. That's the law of averages for you Randal.

In it's current state the health care bill is a no win for consumers and a win win for republicans, conservedems, and the insurance companies. Republicans will vote against it even though they are secretly for it in it's present state. That's because there's no public option (wouldn't want competition) or a Medicare buy in. It will if passed give insurance companies 30 million new customers paying premiums and if they can't pay the government will either provide them with taxpayer funds or a fine that will land up in the insurers pockets. Nothing will change other than a win fall for the insurance companies. And you thought the bank bail out was costly. This will pale by comparison. At least with the bankers it was a loan that will be paid back.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Christmas Carol part three


Act III The ghost of Christmas future

The Boner back in his leather chair once again farted and rubbed his stomach.
"Must have been that stale sandwich I had for lunch." he thought.
As he was about to get up from his chair the windows suddenly went black and the lights dimed. His heavy oak door creeked open and in sauntered Ronald Reagan with a black hood covering his head and face. Without a word the ominus figure raised his boney hand motioning the Boner to follow him. In a slow motion flash they landed in a hallway of an old nursing home. There before him was his future self sitting in a gold plated geri chair with a cashmire lap blanket a glassy stare as he gaulked at on of the hallway lights.

"Sad" said the nurse "No one comes to see him anymore" "He just sits there for hours on end staring at the hallway lights."
"And to think" said the aid " He made all that money when he was in congress". "Wonder what they'll do with it all?"
"I heard that since he has no living relatives that the state will give it to poor children with no health coverage"
And there the old Boner sat drool running down his chin staring at a light not knowing there was even a world outside.

"No no no!" the old senator was heard yelling as he slowly awoke back in his chair. "Dithers! What time is it?"
"Time to get back to the senate floor sir".
"Hot damn I didn't miss it. There's still time to put a last nail in the coffin of health care reform." bellowed the old Boner
"Did you get that dislexic reader I wanted?"
"Yes sir." said the manservant
"Good, then that damn Sanders ammendment is as good as dead." "Get me up and let's go." "Oh and don't forget to send Joe Lieberman a christmas card. Oh yea that's right he's Jewish, never mind."

fade to black

Merry Christmas folks! I hope you enjoy the lump of coal we just got from our elected officials. But please don't try and burn it because we wouldn't want to add to global warming.

Intermission 2

Our second act was brought to you by these fine sponsors:

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While you're out in the lobby we have some fine keepsake T shirts to remember tonight's performance. Made in China by slave labor these shirts are guaranteed to fall apart on the first washing.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Christmas Carol Part Two

Act II The ghost of Christmas past

Little Ebonezer McConnell's parents were big fans of FDR. You see the little Boner contracted polio at a very early age and was forced to do therapy after going to Warm Springs something Roosevelt had started for the benefit of poor kids with polio. This would not do in Ebonezers' mind. We need to get rid of the riff raff of society he thought and he was just the person to do it. When all of these socialist programs were in full swing he hatched a plan. How to get these people to pay up the nose and get nothing in return. As he made his way through government stepping on toes and kicking anyone aside who got in his way. He was after all a member in good stand of the good ole boys netwark.

The ghost of Christmas past had little to say. Merely reached out his arm and grabbed Boner by the upper arm and they were off to his old Kentucky home.

"Nezer?" That's what his mom called him. "You will reconsider you're positions. FDR would not have been proud of you you know." said his mom.
"Nah mom I have to support the party line." "Jerry said I could have a great future if I'd just be more conservative". "I know I'll back that new kid Raygun." "I always liked playing with rayguns."
"Nezer you promise me you'll be more compassionate like Roosevelt and stop hanging around with that bad crowd. Those republicans won't amount to anything if you ask me." said his mom.
"Ah mom, but with the republicans I'm makin more money that you and Dad put together." touted the young Boner.

And a montage of the good times flashed before his eyes. Of back room deals and money laundering through campaign committees. Of D.C. cocktail parties and setting policy that benefited his friends in business. It was an orgasm of power and money from the memories of his youth.
Then there was the scene of Tiny Tim Geithner working his way up the financial food chain. Happy as a lark he was following the direction of his masters Bush and Cheney. He just knew the good times would never end. Tim worked hard to lower the amount of capital required to run a bank and that was perhaps his downfall. There was no turning back now. His fate was sealed and his time was now limited. Crippled by his own actions.

"Those were some good times. said the Boner. "Can I stay just a little longer oh please?"
"No said the ghost, these are things that can never be again, at least not for you."
"Then what will become of Tim?" "Is there any hope for him?" "Maybe we could get him off with a pardon." "We could sneak it into one of those Democrat spending bills."

But there was no more word from the ghost and once again the Boner found himself back in his leather chair.

Stay tuned for Part Three after words from our sponsers

Monday, December 14, 2009

Intermission

This play is being brought to you by these proud sponsors:

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The Clapper - That wonderful device that has your lights going off and on by themselves on July 4.

And Bull of Heaven condoms - If anything gets out of that condom you can name him Houdini.

While you're up why not head to the lobby where you can try some of our delicious stale popcorn and watered down fruit drinks. Our candy counter is amply stocked with over sized and over priced candies guaranteed to keep the dentist busy all of next year.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Christmas Carol D.C. style


Editors note: I can only hope I can do justice to something that Distributorcap would write and sorry no cute photoshoped images of Sarah Palin or the rest of the wingnut crowd. Think of Lionel Barrymore playing a character that's a cross between Scrooge and Mr. Potter of 'It's a Wonderful Life.'

Act I - The ghost of Christmas present

The scene opens with snow flakes starting to fall outside the D.C. office of Ebonezer McConnell. From behind his heavy oak office door you can tell the "Boner" is not happy.
"Dithers have you counted the funds from the insurance lobbyists yet?" bellows the Boner.
"No Mr. McConnell, not yet."
"Well why the hell not you lazy peon?"
"I'm still counting all the gold coin from the energy companies from when Bush and Cheney were in office." whined the manservant.
"Well get your lazy ass in gear. I want to get this wrapped up before the Christmas break. The guys from Wall Street are throwing a party and I don't want to miss it. There's even a rumor that Sarah Palin will pop out of a cake. You know what that means don't you?"
"No sir."
"Means I won't have to use those free samples of Viagra I got for doing the drug companies that big favor."
"What favor would that be?"
"Are you a dunce? Why Medicare part D of course." "Just love the way they came up with that big hole in the middle. We can drain em for every penny they've got. And you know I get kick backs er.. residules if they live past two years."

As the Boner slumps back in his big leather chair for a nice after lunch nap the room goes dark and things get all starry and magical.
Enter the ghost of Christmas present played by Ed Shultz

"You know folks if we don't get a public option then health care reform as we know it is dead."
"Just look behind me at the lines here at the mobile free health care clinic we've set up."
"Is this what you want for the American people Ebonezer?"
McConnell snaps from his afternoon nap. "Why sure, it was good enough for my great grandparents so why can't people buck up and live with it?"
"BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE DYING!" bellows the ghost, nearly shattering the windows.
"Are there no vouchers? Are there no free clinics?" the Boner states gruffly.

"And what's to become of Tiny Tim Geithner?" says the ghost.
"What about him?" grumbles the Boner.
"Well you take my hand and we'll go have a look" says the ghost
"I said take my hand, that's not my hand! screamed the ghost
Like a wisp of the wind the two were transported to the office of Tiny Tim.
There in a fake wood paneled office with Office Depot furniture was Tim slumped over his desk with a bottle of cheap scotch half full next to his monitor and a tipped over shot glass with it's dregs starting to stain the papers on his desk. On his computer screen was the beginning of an outline. Heading read "How to justify AIG executive bonuses." The roman numerals proceeded but nothing was written.
"Good ole Tim, injected Boner, he was almost as good as Scooter. But now his time looks like it's nearly up. Oh well that's what we do ghost. When you're part of our party you have to make sacrifices."
" Can we get on with this ghost? I need to get back to the hill to vote against any bill the Democrat party may come up with."
The ghost, "Sure as soon as you've taken my poll." "Tonight's question: Do you think Ebonezer can block any health care reform? press 1 for yes and 2 for no. The results after the third act.

Stay tuned for the next act coming soon....

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Iraq robbery


Sometime in the years after the start of the Iraq war I recall reading the oil agreement that the interm government had drawn up with the U.S.(Yes I read obscure things like that because I like to know the truth.) Entirely written by the U.S. oil companies it was an obscene piece of work. I seem to remember (don't quote me on this) that the deal gave 90% of the money to the oil companies with but 10% going to the Iraqis. And I'm sure the oil companies could have taken most of the 10% with hidden fees and security costs.

The Plan
There was no real plan to rebuild Iraq. Most of that money was stolen anyway. But there sure was a plan to get the oil.
Even two years before the Iraq war started they (oil company execs and advisors) were planning this thing. This was nothing more than a home invasion robbery and a violent one at that. We cut the first line of defense. Had Dad running from the house to hid in a hole then took out his sons one by one so we could strike a deal with any remaining distant family members. For the largest asset the family had, oil. And now that we had the lions' share of the booty we leave the scraps to the rest of the world robbers waiting in the bushes.
So now we have what's left over after Haliburton got finished with the Iraqis The Scraps And the media makes it sound like these countries got most of the oil. Think again.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday Pussy



You can't tell I like the pussies.


And for the latest weekly bank failure update:
SolutionsBank Overland Park KS
Valley Capital Bank, N.A. Mesa AZ
Republic Federal Bank, N.A. Miami FL

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Medical no coverage


I seem to recall senators on both sides of the aisle saying that we need health care reform just last year. Both sides were touting competition as the solution to rising costs. In looking at the Democratic platforms of the 08 campaign there was even a plank about health care for Americans which reads as follows and this is an exact cut and paste:

Provide high quality affordable health care
Access to high quality affordable health care is essential for every American. 
As a nation, we have the resources to provide this care for all our citizens, as well as for our guests. 
We have the knowledge, the skilled professionals, the technology and the funds. 

Now all of a sudden any hint of a public option or competition has been nearly ruled out. The first compromise was to eliminate competition by eliminating a public option for all but those 55 to 64 without insurance. And since this bill won't go into effect until some time in 2012 42,000 people will die due to lack of coverage.
If what I've been hearing is accurate then there is no real reform. Your senators have had their pockets lined with gold. The insurance companies have been shoveling money at our senators since last spring when the serious negotiations were started. And what has been the response of the republicans? Aside from dumping massive amounts of ammendments (and they wonder why the bill is so lengthy) they have attempted to fillibuster any attempts to get this legislation to the floor for a vote. They'd like nothing better than to stop the entire process and start over again. Well to them I say tell that to the patient with treatable cancer who's just had his coverage canceled because the insurance company and the hospital can't agree on reimbersments. Tell that to the guy who's been layed off and been without coverage for over a year.

Now the states are running short on funds and having to cut those at the bottom. I hear the SCHIP program may have to be cut because there isn't enough money. This was a program that was just expanded in February . People are being told to take their kids to the emergency room. Where's the logic in that? Now instead of a $100 doctor visit that could easliy been spread out among many will turn into a $500+ visit and tie up doctors and nurses who should be doing emergency work. The stupidity just overwhelms me. Does penny wise and pound foolish come to mind?

What's the real solution? I'd say a 3 to 4% national sales tax on all items except food with a sliding scale copay based on income would be more than enough to cover everyone. By spreading the risk or costs it would cost much less. Health care shouldn't be a privledge but a right of all Americans. We seem to have the funds to kill people, why can't we find the funds to save lives?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Where did all the words go?


Year and years ago I used to be able to pull words from my gray matter like a magician pulls rabbits out of his hat. Always the perfect word for the situation. In milliseconds I could come up with a razor sharp wit and put verbal bullies in their place. I once had a supervisor in near tears and running to his boss. Mattered not to me as he was a boob and nobody liked him anyway. Needless to say I don't like stupid people especially when my own skin is involved. But, where the hell was I? Oh yea, the loss of mental acuity. After spending 16 years stuffing my brain with information, somewhere along the trip some evil event happens. As if some invisible hole has been drilled somewhere in the back of the skull. Quickly painlessly the hole magically appeared. And you can't even tell it's there. So slowly without notice that mass of facts drips like a Chinese water torture out the back of your head never to return. It's not as if you notice this phenomena being so slow and painless. And it's not like stepping into a room only to realize you forgot why you went there in the first place. It's devilishly worse. Trying to remember an instructor of a few years back even though I've worked with him on numerous jobs and seen him several times since yet there I stand a total blank. Digging deep in the recesses of my mind trying desperately to not look the fool. I'll fake it. You know give that warm and cordial greeting. Great to see you again, haven't seen you in quite some time. Ah, it worked I've fooled him into thinking. But then as you are about to retire for the night and that area between sleep and awake slowly slips away his name comes to you and you rise up from the covers and shout "That's his name! Damn just couldn't think of it"

Buuut, then there's a book or a paper that you know you've read. The cover is part of the room decore you've passed it for years then in a moment of bordom you pick it up open and it's as if someone changed the words. Nothing formilar. Logic dictates that the words are the same but the mind changed. And just as you think it's coming back to you the mind goes on a tangent. You put the book down and wonder why you came in the room in the first place.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My stuff and your s#@t


Rodger Green got me to thinking about all the stuff we collect. I know I have things in a closet or bin that I haven't even looked at in well over ten years and yet there it will remain until for some reason (usually remodeling) it will get moved or donated or thrown out. I truly believe that we throw out enough junk to start another country. Maybe that would be a good way to get out of Afghanistan. We'll empty out our closets and send them all of our junk. Since they have almost nothing now it would be a windfall for them. In doing so we could quickly Americanize them to our materialistic way of thinking. Imagine them walking around in Nikes carrying ipods. And this would be far cheaper than using drones and expensive military hardware.

I used to have enough room for my stuff until somebody put their s#@t in the way. Now it's a constant task to move or throw things out. The never ending battle against clutter. This is now a never ending battle. A war that can not be won. A quagmire worse than any guerilla war.
And now we come to that time of year when stuff is what it's all about. How much loot did you get from Santa? Maybe I'll just be bad this year. I could use the coal to keep warm.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm back did ya miss me?



And what would Friday be without the Friday pussy.

Kind of feel like that cat. But I see the world didn't blow up yet and things are getting strangly better in an odd way. I must say you can go through news withdrawl. Nice to be out for a while. But as they say the job isn't over until the paperwork is done.
I was the only one to pass the course the first go round. Now I get to be the one pushing the pencil and walking around with my hands in my pocket... there's a nice thought.