Friday, June 11, 2010

The Dam Friday Beaver

Flash floods kill at least 16 at Ark. campground
You can't even go camping without something happening. Which reminds me stay the hell off the rivers here this weekend. You've got snow melt and fast running rivers. Oh wait that's how mother nature thins the gene pool.

Pope pleads for mercy over perverted priest sex scandals. I knew it. He isn't infallible. Must be loosing all that cash and followers.

Lastly and sorry if you already heard this one.

A retirement plan from Washington - joke

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Banks failures later.
Only one bank hit the skids in Wa.


BBC said...

Shit happens, if it didn't happen in your yard why worry about it?

Demeur said...

The way things are going if I could sell my place and cash everything else in I'd be out of here. Canada is sounding better and better all the time. At least you get health care and maybe a job. No fun being a 99er here.

tims scared stiff said...

I feel so violated....;)

S.W. Anderson said...

LOL, what light at the end of the tunnel?

Good one, Demeur.

an average patriot said...

Demeur try to have a laugh over the still developing oil horror!

Randal Graves said...

Who's the black private dick that's sex machine for all the chicks?


Tom Harper said...

For some reason, I have the Nirvana song "Rape Me" running through my head.

an average patriot said...

That joke is funny as hell!

Bustednuckles said...

I ain't going to get to retire so somehow, I am feeling that I am fucking them right back.

BBC said...

Na, we are taking Canada down with us.

BBC said...

But you might consider a less populated area here in the states..

BBC said...

Not that I think you are willing to cut your losses and move on, greed is like that.