Indian mystic claims not to eat or drink anything for 70 Years. If he's older than 70 then we know what he's full of.
'Zombie satellite' threatens other craft. I'll leave that one to the Randal of Graves. Sounds like it's right up his alley.
Michelle Obama has recomendations on childhood obesity. I've got a solution. Send all the obese kids over to Africa and bring their starving kids here for a while. Problem solved!
Earth near the tipping point. And it looks like we're giving her a big shove if you ask me.
Lastly there's the British elections, a comedian's dream. Why you might ask? Because the guy who may land up at 10 Downing Street is named Ed Balls. I leave you to write your own jokes on that one. There's just too many.
Later and keep your drums upright.