Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The stuff women will buy

Sorry Tammy if you look like a raccoon.

But then again even men fall for the hype and Madison Ave bull too.

One of the first things I learned in hazmat classes is that there are many products that contain heavy metals. That wonderful shade of eyeliner may be "the in thing" at the moment but it doesn't come without a price. A secret hidden price. Heavy metals (and I'm not talking about a rock group here) have some great properties. They are good because they don't break down easily but then that's also their bane as well. The human body doesn't react well to things that want to hang around for a couple of years. And most things are absorbed into the body either by skin contact, ingestion, or by inhaling. But in the process of trying to change thinking to what would look to appear safer, we've failed or should I say manufacturers failed. Not so with their bottom line of course.

Take womens' cosmetics. Lead which used to be a main ingredient in paints and eye shadow has now been replaced with titanium. Sounds so much safer right? Think again, it's also a heavy metal and I'd bet even though I haven't read a label that it's been neatly disguised as one of those chemical ingredients that nobody can pronounce. So easy to hide things when you've altered the basic nasty then come up with your own manufacturers' name for the stuff. Trade names are difficult enough to decipher even to one in the chemical business. I give you Corexit, that chemical combination used to disperse the oil in the Gulf as an example. Nobody knows exactly what's in it because it's said to be a trade secret. So with womens' make up they went from lead then to chromium and then to titanium. Titanium sounds so much more user friendly than lead. And nothing like fooling the public with terms like natural or organic. Of course it's natural just about all heavy metals are are found in nature.

Manufacturers have exploited loopholes in the laws for years. It's all a matter of definition. Now you would think that the term "asbestos free" would mean just that. That there is no asbestos in the product but you'd be wrong. The definition is any product containing less than one percent asbestos. The liars you say. But there in lies a problem. As we demand things to have a longer and longer service life there are no substitutes for many of the chemicals used. Any organic product will break down in short order being part of the cycle of life. It's more important to minimize exposures where possible and substitute. But as we all know the new and improved is never as good as the original. Only the original could land up killing you in the long run. Putting formaldehyde in soap comes to mind. Save the embalming fluid I'm already ready when I go. A shelf life of a Twinky.

Some of the stuff women buy escapes logic. Take waterproof make up. Did somebody not tell them skin breaths? Perhaps we could talk them into a quick spray of flesh toned Rino Lining. Spray it once and your complexion will last for months. So with face creams and cleansers and elixirs and serums and gels they seem to fall for it all only to have it land up half used in some drawer. Seem to remember grandma using nothing more than Ivory soap and she looked just fine all her life.
And guys please don't fall for it either. You may have jet black hair and mustache but the crows feet and the jowls are a dead giveaway. Father time always wins in the end. I used to be young and handsome. Now I'm just handsome. ;-)

make up


Tom Harper said...

I thought this was going to be an interesting post about some of my favorite groups. But then you lost me at "Heavy metals (and I'm not talking about a rock group here)..."

BBC said...

I've earned every goddamn sag and line on me.

S.W. Anderson said...

I'm reminded of an old saying, "Kissing don't last, cooking do." :)

The Blog Fodder said...

My daughter's are pretty much makeup minimalists for which I am thankful if the stuff is as bad as you say.

Then there is the Tammy-Faye ski run - four inches of powder and six inches of base.

Actually, SW, kissin' do last, cooking don't. Tanya is never too busy for a hug or kiss and I am in seventh heaven. I can do my own cooking if need be. However that is a long rant best left alone.

Randal Graves said...


I notice you didn't talk about the grease paint of clowns. What do you have against the elected official?