Monday, April 16, 2012

Death taxes and Santa Claus?

As the deadline is fast approaching those fortunate enough to endure the headache (there's 25 million unemployed you know) scurry to reverse engineer their target tax. You should know how that works. Let's see how we can hit the mark and squeeze every nickel of deductions thereby giving ourselves our own tax cut. What do you mean we can't claim the cat as a dependent? Spent more on her in medical bills than the youngest. And yes my adjusted is pretty gross so maybe some more adjusting is in order.

Then there's death. Had a neighbor go out in a blaze of glory by racking up more debt than a Newts' wife at Tiffanies. He left this world owing everybody and must have had a great time doing it. He left behind two houses a car a truck a boat and not a nickel to his name. Even the bank won't touch his stuff because it's not worth what's owed. Eventually the houses will be sold for taxes. Back to taxes. Can't get away from them even when you're dead but at least you won't be filing the paper work.

Now what's all this about Santa Claus you might ask? Seems the global warming deniers have it all wrong. Aside from the 200+ records broken this past winter for warm temps in the eastern part of the country, the polar ice caps are melting faster than a snowman in Arizona in the summer. Our military being up on this situation is preparing for the what ifs when the stampede for resources starts.

To the world's military leaders, the debate over climate change is long over. They are preparing for a new kind of Cold War in the Arctic, anticipating that rising temperatures there will open up a treasure trove of resources, long-dreamed-of sea lanes and a slew of potential conflicts.

So two questions come to mind. Can you buy some nice beach front property in northern Canada yet? Oh it may be a bit chilly there right now but just wait a generation or two. Might just be drinking Mai Tais on the beach at Nunavat.
And does this mean Santa Claus is in big trouble? Just can't picture him in Hawaiian shorts and flip flops. They'd probably label him a communist and a terrorist and put a price on his head. But seeing as how he's so efficient maybe they could have him instead of the post office they're wanting to close.

Like a bunch of greedy kids at Christmas corporations just can't wait till the ice sheets are gone and the presents revealed. Will it be gold, oil or maybe more diamonds. Just keep those whale huggers away.


Randal Graves said...

I had no idea that Cannibal Holocaust was a documentary.

BBC said...

I'm damn sure looking forward to it getting warmer here, and shooting at the hordes that will be wanting to come here.

S.W. Anderson said...

On one level, I know global warming is real. It's just that where I live, we're not getting any. Spent most of the past two or three years with months on end of below-normal temperatures most of the time.

As for resource wars, yes, that's probably going to be the next reason for more wars. It seems there's always a reason for more wars.


The Blog Fodder said...

Whiskey's for drinking; water is for fighting over. Mark Twain