Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ka boom!

Perusing through the want ads for a lead to gainful employment you come upon some interesting yet unusual offerings. One environmental listing started with the usual nondescript requirements of good verbal and written communication skills (most over 40 could fit that bill). Reading down the list of the usual requirements 40 hour hazardous waste training, check (except our state requires 80 hrs so we're either slow or over trained depending on how you look at it) ability to travel, check (most jobs are done here on location which can be anywhere in the Puget Sound area) and a final requirement I've never had the need or desire to pursue which was explosives certification preferred. Now that got my attention. Was this some position requiring the training of the local police bomb squad or going after someone akin to the Unibomber who left his presents scattered about? If it was clearing some no longer used bomb range on a military base I'm sure it'd be the perfect starting job for a newly discharged vet as the starting pay wasn't that great for the dangers involved but more than what they were making.

Sorry guys I've already paid my initiation dues for this type of danger club. A couple of bucks above minimum isn't going to cut it.
So what do you do with an old half burned out HAZWOPER who knows more about what we dump into the environment than the average joe? Had hoped to get into teaching but with few job listings there's not much need. Even the training centers are laying off instructors. This will get to an interesting situation when us old guys aren't around and the economy finally does pick up. Ha then you'll seek me out but I won't work for peanuts then my friends. We may have done your dirty work on the cheap years ago but eventually the ball will be in our court and I'd like a handsome retirement package thank you very much. You won't care whether it's the blue wire or the red one as long as somebody knows which one is the right one to cut. Then it's just a matter of trust. Well punk do you feel lucky? Do you value us now? Okay then try doing the job yourself but when you muck it up don't come crying to me.

1 comment:

Randal Graves said...

Thank you sir may I have another.

I'm sure they'll hire you experienced folks at a fair wage and not some greenhorn and then not pin the ensuing explosion on some TBD terrorist that's just silly.